“You cannot get sick enough to help sick people get better. You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive. It is only in your thriving that you have anything to offer anyone. If you're wanting to be of an advantage to others, be as tapped in, turned in, turned on as you can possibly be.” - Abraham-Hicks Daily Quote March 29, 2008
There are times when we all wish we can help a friend or family member get out of their rut, whether it is an emotional rut, financial rut, etc. However, many times we can’t help people see past their own issues. They could be stuck on old anger patterns or have an emotional block they just refuse to get past. It is at this time they we can only lead by example. We can not join our friend in the angry tirades or poor behavior. We can listen and be understanding, but by joining it is only bringing down your own energy. Even forcing guidance or aide on another individual can only hurt the situation and drain your own energy. In short, some people just do not want to be helped! So like the quote says above, in order to be of advantage to those around you, you must be at your highest and best self. It is through this example that the positive energy will guide others. Be at your best and others will follow.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Money, Money, Money...
“Decide [together] what you want your life to look like and then use money as a tool not a goal” – Margaret Shapiro Vanguard Winter 2008 Newsletter
Yesterday, I received a semi-annual newsletter from Vanguard, my 401k investment broker, and it had an article about why couples argue over money. The above quote within the article struck me not only for couples, but as a general rule for individuals and gaining a healthy relationship with money. Money is a piece of paper that is always on Americans minds. Either you don’t have and want it or you already have a lot and want more of it!
Relationships with money begin as a child. You receive allowance or gifts from your grandparents. That $10 seemed like a lot to a 7 year old! You always hear your parents talk (or maybe even fight about it.) You’re in a clothing store and your mom will say “Put that sweater down! It’s too expensive!” There are even quotes drilled into society’s minds like “Money is the root of all evil.” By the age of 18, before even making any significant salary, you already have formed opinions and ideas about money. For many of us it could simply be “I am going to be rich!" with no concept of how to get there. We may even pick a profession we hate simply because it pays well.
What is money really? One definition on www.dictionary.com defines it as “any article or substance used as a medium of exchange, measure of wealth, or means of payment.” This means candy can be money! However, candy is only recognized as a medium of exchange amongst 5 year olds. “The green stuff” is what we are after, but why? Money can buy you things and experiences, like trips around the world, a day at the museum etc. These things and experiences can be a PART of happiness, but it’s not the full picture. Money can not buy you a family, friends, love, and all the other intangibles that make human beings whole and happy. Still, we are socialized to believe the goal in life is to “make a lot of money” or “marry a rich husband” as if POOF all the problems can go away.
The above quote seems to describe the best way to have a healthy relationship with money. Picture how you want your life to be and strive for those things, using money merely as a tool. A tool does not make it the ONLY way to achieve these goals. You can potentially win a free vacation to the Bahamas by playing Bingo at your local church! Instead of thinking purely about money and how to earn it, think of the best possible life and that includes the material things as well as immaterial. Money can play a role in getting what you want, but merely earning money should not be the goal. Chase the life’s experiences and not money!
Yesterday, I received a semi-annual newsletter from Vanguard, my 401k investment broker, and it had an article about why couples argue over money. The above quote within the article struck me not only for couples, but as a general rule for individuals and gaining a healthy relationship with money. Money is a piece of paper that is always on Americans minds. Either you don’t have and want it or you already have a lot and want more of it!
Relationships with money begin as a child. You receive allowance or gifts from your grandparents. That $10 seemed like a lot to a 7 year old! You always hear your parents talk (or maybe even fight about it.) You’re in a clothing store and your mom will say “Put that sweater down! It’s too expensive!” There are even quotes drilled into society’s minds like “Money is the root of all evil.” By the age of 18, before even making any significant salary, you already have formed opinions and ideas about money. For many of us it could simply be “I am going to be rich!" with no concept of how to get there. We may even pick a profession we hate simply because it pays well.
What is money really? One definition on www.dictionary.com defines it as “any article or substance used as a medium of exchange, measure of wealth, or means of payment.” This means candy can be money! However, candy is only recognized as a medium of exchange amongst 5 year olds. “The green stuff” is what we are after, but why? Money can buy you things and experiences, like trips around the world, a day at the museum etc. These things and experiences can be a PART of happiness, but it’s not the full picture. Money can not buy you a family, friends, love, and all the other intangibles that make human beings whole and happy. Still, we are socialized to believe the goal in life is to “make a lot of money” or “marry a rich husband” as if POOF all the problems can go away.
The above quote seems to describe the best way to have a healthy relationship with money. Picture how you want your life to be and strive for those things, using money merely as a tool. A tool does not make it the ONLY way to achieve these goals. You can potentially win a free vacation to the Bahamas by playing Bingo at your local church! Instead of thinking purely about money and how to earn it, think of the best possible life and that includes the material things as well as immaterial. Money can play a role in getting what you want, but merely earning money should not be the goal. Chase the life’s experiences and not money!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Woo-sah photo of the day....
LAUGH MORE! It is the best medicine! Seriously! I recently researched adrenal fatigue (the adrenal glands are responsible for pumping those stress hormones into the body) and it listed LAUGHTER as one of the remedies for adrenal fatigue. Apparently, laughter also releases some great chemicals that relieve the stress!Trusting the Almighty Jar Opener...
Ever struggle to open a jar? You put the top under hot water; even bang the top along the side of a counter. Still, you can not open this jar! Then, you ask another person to open it and WHAA-LLAA without a strain or any issue the top goes POP, right open! It’s always funny how that happens!
I see patience as struggling to open a jar. I am a firm believer that with focused thought and intention anything is possibly. The question is in what time? Destiny seems to always unfold in its own mysterious way and not how you planned it in your mind! The more you push on it (ala the jar), the more is seems to resist. Sometimes you need to trust another individual to do the job. On a larger scale (putting all jars aside), there is a higher power that seems to govern your path. He/She is the almighty jar opener! (lol) Being able to simply let go, practice patience, and wait for the path to unfold can be super difficult for some. (I am one of those people that have a hard time letting things JUST BE!) I am a hard worker and strive for what I want. Perhaps my own belief is like the Frederick Douglass quote, “Without struggle, there is no progress.” However, it doesn’t have to be a struggle if you simply put your faith in the Almighty Jar Opener. Knowing that the path will unfold before you in the most perfect effortless way can take practice. As I read my own blog, I know I must practice! However, I also know that something is planned for me that will look better than what I ever imagined!
I see patience as struggling to open a jar. I am a firm believer that with focused thought and intention anything is possibly. The question is in what time? Destiny seems to always unfold in its own mysterious way and not how you planned it in your mind! The more you push on it (ala the jar), the more is seems to resist. Sometimes you need to trust another individual to do the job. On a larger scale (putting all jars aside), there is a higher power that seems to govern your path. He/She is the almighty jar opener! (lol) Being able to simply let go, practice patience, and wait for the path to unfold can be super difficult for some. (I am one of those people that have a hard time letting things JUST BE!) I am a hard worker and strive for what I want. Perhaps my own belief is like the Frederick Douglass quote, “Without struggle, there is no progress.” However, it doesn’t have to be a struggle if you simply put your faith in the Almighty Jar Opener. Knowing that the path will unfold before you in the most perfect effortless way can take practice. As I read my own blog, I know I must practice! However, I also know that something is planned for me that will look better than what I ever imagined!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
BACK TO BASICS
It's impossible to escape... Whether it's gossip, cold-hard factual news, rumors, speculation or "expert analysis" (how one becomes an expert in the field of hilly-billy turned washed-up, drug-addicted model, turned heiress to over hundreds of millions completely eludes me) we all face the same distractions in today's bold, technologically advanced world: Outside Influence.
The sources are numerous and often contradictory - one "trusted expert" will tell you that you should cut down on carbs while another, with seemingly identical credentials- tells you should increase your carb intake. And as always, you are left confused and stuck in the middle. And that's just one subject, because before you've sorted things out in regards to the first issue, you have a couple more experts tossing their trusted-take-it-as-gospel-because-it's-being-delivered-to-you-by-a-trusted-multimillion dollar-corporate-source.
So who do you trust in this crazy world? How do you keep up?
Well, as confusing as things may seem today, the basics always remain the same. Love, honor and respect for yourself and those around you will continue to be the driving forces behind all things good whether it be via the internet or your personal network of technologically blunted friends. From neanderthal to new age, man has learned to adapt to innovation after innovation - surviving for the better each and every time.
Those basic principles are what keep us balanced. As crazy as we may think the world is at times, imagine how bad it would be without those elements in man that keep us civil. We protect one another from what could be a harsher reallity each and every day without a moment of conscious thought by allowing ourselves to influence others with and be influenced by, the simple things.
So in respect to that, the next time you're being pulled in a thousand different directions by experts, bloggers and the like, take a deep breath, a step back and allow yourself to get back to basics.
Peace,
HIGH 5!!!
The sources are numerous and often contradictory - one "trusted expert" will tell you that you should cut down on carbs while another, with seemingly identical credentials- tells you should increase your carb intake. And as always, you are left confused and stuck in the middle. And that's just one subject, because before you've sorted things out in regards to the first issue, you have a couple more experts tossing their trusted-take-it-as-gospel-because-it's-being-delivered-to-you-by-a-trusted-multimillion dollar-corporate-source.
So who do you trust in this crazy world? How do you keep up?
Well, as confusing as things may seem today, the basics always remain the same. Love, honor and respect for yourself and those around you will continue to be the driving forces behind all things good whether it be via the internet or your personal network of technologically blunted friends. From neanderthal to new age, man has learned to adapt to innovation after innovation - surviving for the better each and every time.
Those basic principles are what keep us balanced. As crazy as we may think the world is at times, imagine how bad it would be without those elements in man that keep us civil. We protect one another from what could be a harsher reallity each and every day without a moment of conscious thought by allowing ourselves to influence others with and be influenced by, the simple things.
So in respect to that, the next time you're being pulled in a thousand different directions by experts, bloggers and the like, take a deep breath, a step back and allow yourself to get back to basics.
Peace,
HIGH 5!!!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Maintaining Balance....
Anyone that lives in a major city like New York or even in a surrounding metropolitan area travels on a train, bus or sits in traffic with a group of people that look exhausted. Maybe they are not completely unhappy, but they have that worn out-I-need-my Starbucks-now look on their faces (or perhaps they are already sipping their Starbucks.) You could be one of these people as well!
In a society where costs of living are rising every day, it is no surprise that people are working harder and more often to maintain a living. In New York City, there is also a group of super-achievers that work extra hours not simply because the job demands it but because they are working to get that career success they have always hoped for.
With all this extra work and stress we give to our bodies, where do we refuel this energy? Starbucks isn’t going to cut it! If anything the sugar and caffeine adds more stress to your body. The energy can only be restored in one way and that is through healthy sleep habits and developing other easy activities that simply make your mind and body feel better. In other words, it is achieved through BALANCE. One way to analyze the balance in your life is to write down how many hours a day you work, sleep, watch TV, read, etc. If the scale severely tips to more work than play and sleep, then in the long run you will be that zombie on the train every morning! Things can get worse for the zombies too like heart problems, adrenal depletion (Yes go Google adrenal glands and find out what they do! They help you actually deal with real stressful emergencies!) etc.
So how can one start this life of balance? This particular high five member’s first suggestion for the over-worked crowd is to pick a day and do….NOTHING. If you work all the time doing NOTHING is going to feel like work! However, it is the best way to master the art of “unwinding.” Wake up late on a Saturday and don’t shower. Actually, don’t even get out of your pajamas. Just do NOTHING. Read. Watch TV. Do nothing strenuous. If you have kids send them on a trip to grandma’s Friday night so you have no worries on saturday. Seriously do NOTHING.
After you have mastered “nothingness,” find ways to possibly leave work 30 minutes earlier. Find some time to pick up that hobby you used to love; perhaps, you can do it in the 30 minutes you saved from NOT working. If you can afford it, get someone to clean your house so you don’t have to clean on weekends or every now and then drop your laundry off to be cleaned. Find the extra minutes! It may take some time to achieve balance. Of course, there may be some weeks or months where things are off kilter. However, you will no longer be a Starbucks zombie, your health will improve, and so will your happiness. Make it a goal to achieve BALANCE!
In a society where costs of living are rising every day, it is no surprise that people are working harder and more often to maintain a living. In New York City, there is also a group of super-achievers that work extra hours not simply because the job demands it but because they are working to get that career success they have always hoped for.
With all this extra work and stress we give to our bodies, where do we refuel this energy? Starbucks isn’t going to cut it! If anything the sugar and caffeine adds more stress to your body. The energy can only be restored in one way and that is through healthy sleep habits and developing other easy activities that simply make your mind and body feel better. In other words, it is achieved through BALANCE. One way to analyze the balance in your life is to write down how many hours a day you work, sleep, watch TV, read, etc. If the scale severely tips to more work than play and sleep, then in the long run you will be that zombie on the train every morning! Things can get worse for the zombies too like heart problems, adrenal depletion (Yes go Google adrenal glands and find out what they do! They help you actually deal with real stressful emergencies!) etc.
So how can one start this life of balance? This particular high five member’s first suggestion for the over-worked crowd is to pick a day and do….NOTHING. If you work all the time doing NOTHING is going to feel like work! However, it is the best way to master the art of “unwinding.” Wake up late on a Saturday and don’t shower. Actually, don’t even get out of your pajamas. Just do NOTHING. Read. Watch TV. Do nothing strenuous. If you have kids send them on a trip to grandma’s Friday night so you have no worries on saturday. Seriously do NOTHING.
After you have mastered “nothingness,” find ways to possibly leave work 30 minutes earlier. Find some time to pick up that hobby you used to love; perhaps, you can do it in the 30 minutes you saved from NOT working. If you can afford it, get someone to clean your house so you don’t have to clean on weekends or every now and then drop your laundry off to be cleaned. Find the extra minutes! It may take some time to achieve balance. Of course, there may be some weeks or months where things are off kilter. However, you will no longer be a Starbucks zombie, your health will improve, and so will your happiness. Make it a goal to achieve BALANCE!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Even Quitters Get a High 5!
"Do you really wanna win? Or just look good losing?" - Phonte of Little Brother in "Dreams"
If you've ever played sports, you've always heard coaches say, "Winners never quit!" Or maybe it was your parents who pushed you to get that A in high school chemistry, but a B+ was all you could seem to produce since science just wasn't your subject. They too exclaimed "Winners never quit!" No matter who it was, we've been given the definition of a winner and part of that definition is never quitting. However, sometimes that is so far from the truth. O Magazine's January issue recently had an article on this same topic so I must give credit to my inspiration (along with Phonte from Little Brother) Martha Beck the author of "Know When to Fold Em."
This Phonte quote above rings home to any person who has had the job, man/woman, life of their "dreams" and decided to quit one day. Sometimes we have a picture in our heads of what is "perfect." Then, we achieve our goal, that dream image, and it's still not quite what we want. Or maybe, after 1, 2, 3 years we simply out grow the situation and change our minds as to what we want. Yet, this is what we planned! This is what we hoped for! We can't simply quit! This is what we've always wanted! At least that's what we tell ourselves. And of course we've been socialized to believe, "Winners never quit." Sometimes though, we have to let go and know that quitting is OK. Sometimes quitting is actually winning. Quitting a marriage that is failing beyond repair can actually free us for the relationship that is right for us. Yes you may disappoint a few people who want you to "stick it out," but do you really wanna win or just look good losing (look good to others that is.)
Recently, a few of my friends and I have all come to terms with changes in life direction. We all seem to be quitting something, but are rejoicing in the adventure that awaits us. About 8 months ago, I came to terms with not wanting the job that I worked so hard to get. It took a few months of agonizing over it. I thought I lost my stuff! I just didn't have what it took to survive in such a competitive industry. I beat myself up because I thought I was getting lazy or lost motivation. It wasn't that at all, however. It was that I didn't want what I had. You can no longer try to win when you don't want to win anymore. It took me 4 internships to get hired in this "glamorous" business. After a few years of paid employment, I simply out grew my circumstance. Why I out grew my position is a whole new blog all together, but coming to terms with quitting and being OK with quitting is very liberating. Staying at my job would be the epitome of "looking good losing" because it is the job that hundreds of people die for (ala The Devil Wears Prada.) There is a strength in quitting when it is really the appropriate thing to do. If you truly WANT something then go for it and try, try again. However, know your limit and know when it is time to pack it in. Winners quit when they don't want to simply look good losing. Quitters deserve high 5's too!
If you've ever played sports, you've always heard coaches say, "Winners never quit!" Or maybe it was your parents who pushed you to get that A in high school chemistry, but a B+ was all you could seem to produce since science just wasn't your subject. They too exclaimed "Winners never quit!" No matter who it was, we've been given the definition of a winner and part of that definition is never quitting. However, sometimes that is so far from the truth. O Magazine's January issue recently had an article on this same topic so I must give credit to my inspiration (along with Phonte from Little Brother) Martha Beck the author of "Know When to Fold Em."
This Phonte quote above rings home to any person who has had the job, man/woman, life of their "dreams" and decided to quit one day. Sometimes we have a picture in our heads of what is "perfect." Then, we achieve our goal, that dream image, and it's still not quite what we want. Or maybe, after 1, 2, 3 years we simply out grow the situation and change our minds as to what we want. Yet, this is what we planned! This is what we hoped for! We can't simply quit! This is what we've always wanted! At least that's what we tell ourselves. And of course we've been socialized to believe, "Winners never quit." Sometimes though, we have to let go and know that quitting is OK. Sometimes quitting is actually winning. Quitting a marriage that is failing beyond repair can actually free us for the relationship that is right for us. Yes you may disappoint a few people who want you to "stick it out," but do you really wanna win or just look good losing (look good to others that is.)
Recently, a few of my friends and I have all come to terms with changes in life direction. We all seem to be quitting something, but are rejoicing in the adventure that awaits us. About 8 months ago, I came to terms with not wanting the job that I worked so hard to get. It took a few months of agonizing over it. I thought I lost my stuff! I just didn't have what it took to survive in such a competitive industry. I beat myself up because I thought I was getting lazy or lost motivation. It wasn't that at all, however. It was that I didn't want what I had. You can no longer try to win when you don't want to win anymore. It took me 4 internships to get hired in this "glamorous" business. After a few years of paid employment, I simply out grew my circumstance. Why I out grew my position is a whole new blog all together, but coming to terms with quitting and being OK with quitting is very liberating. Staying at my job would be the epitome of "looking good losing" because it is the job that hundreds of people die for (ala The Devil Wears Prada.) There is a strength in quitting when it is really the appropriate thing to do. If you truly WANT something then go for it and try, try again. However, know your limit and know when it is time to pack it in. Winners quit when they don't want to simply look good losing. Quitters deserve high 5's too!
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