Even Quitters Get a High 5!

"Do you really wanna win? Or just look good losing?" - Phonte of Little Brother in "Dreams"

If you've ever played sports, you've always heard coaches say, "Winners never quit!" Or maybe it was your parents who pushed you to get that A in high school chemistry, but a B+ was all you could seem to produce since science just wasn't your subject. They too exclaimed "Winners never quit!" No matter who it was, we've been given the definition of a winner and part of that definition is never quitting. However, sometimes that is so far from the truth. O Magazine's January issue recently had an article on this same topic so I must give credit to my inspiration (along with Phonte from Little Brother) Martha Beck the author of "Know When to Fold Em."

This Phonte quote above rings home to any person who has had the job, man/woman, life of their "dreams" and decided to quit one day. Sometimes we have a picture in our heads of what is "perfect." Then, we achieve our goal, that dream image, and it's still not quite what we want. Or maybe, after 1, 2, 3 years we simply out grow the situation and change our minds as to what we want. Yet, this is what we planned! This is what we hoped for! We can't simply quit! This is what we've always wanted! At least that's what we tell ourselves. And of course we've been socialized to believe, "Winners never quit." Sometimes though, we have to let go and know that quitting is OK. Sometimes quitting is actually winning. Quitting a marriage that is failing beyond repair can actually free us for the relationship that is right for us. Yes you may disappoint a few people who want you to "stick it out," but do you really wanna win or just look good losing (look good to others that is.)

Recently, a few of my friends and I have all come to terms with changes in life direction. We all seem to be quitting something, but are rejoicing in the adventure that awaits us. About 8 months ago, I came to terms with not wanting the job that I worked so hard to get. It took a few months of agonizing over it. I thought I lost my stuff! I just didn't have what it took to survive in such a competitive industry. I beat myself up because I thought I was getting lazy or lost motivation. It wasn't that at all, however. It was that I didn't want what I had. You can no longer try to win when you don't want to win anymore. It took me 4 internships to get hired in this "glamorous" business. After a few years of paid employment, I simply out grew my circumstance. Why I out grew my position is a whole new blog all together, but coming to terms with quitting and being OK with quitting is very liberating. Staying at my job would be the epitome of "looking good losing" because it is the job that hundreds of people die for (ala The Devil Wears Prada.) There is a strength in quitting when it is really the appropriate thing to do. If you truly WANT something then go for it and try, try again. However, know your limit and know when it is time to pack it in. Winners quit when they don't want to simply look good losing. Quitters deserve high 5's too!