Money, Money, Money...

“Decide [together] what you want your life to look like and then use money as a tool not a goal” – Margaret Shapiro Vanguard Winter 2008 Newsletter

Yesterday, I received a semi-annual newsletter from Vanguard, my 401k investment broker, and it had an article about why couples argue over money. The above quote within the article struck me not only for couples, but as a general rule for individuals and gaining a healthy relationship with money. Money is a piece of paper that is always on Americans minds. Either you don’t have and want it or you already have a lot and want more of it!

Relationships with money begin as a child. You receive allowance or gifts from your grandparents. That $10 seemed like a lot to a 7 year old! You always hear your parents talk (or maybe even fight about it.) You’re in a clothing store and your mom will say “Put that sweater down! It’s too expensive!” There are even quotes drilled into society’s minds like “Money is the root of all evil.” By the age of 18, before even making any significant salary, you already have formed opinions and ideas about money. For many of us it could simply be “I am going to be rich!" with no concept of how to get there. We may even pick a profession we hate simply because it pays well.

What is money really? One definition on www.dictionary.com defines it as “any article or substance used as a medium of exchange, measure of wealth, or means of payment.” This means candy can be money! However, candy is only recognized as a medium of exchange amongst 5 year olds. “The green stuff” is what we are after, but why? Money can buy you things and experiences, like trips around the world, a day at the museum etc. These things and experiences can be a PART of happiness, but it’s not the full picture. Money can not buy you a family, friends, love, and all the other intangibles that make human beings whole and happy. Still, we are socialized to believe the goal in life is to “make a lot of money” or “marry a rich husband” as if POOF all the problems can go away.

The above quote seems to describe the best way to have a healthy relationship with money. Picture how you want your life to be and strive for those things, using money merely as a tool. A tool does not make it the ONLY way to achieve these goals. You can potentially win a free vacation to the Bahamas by playing Bingo at your local church! Instead of thinking purely about money and how to earn it, think of the best possible life and that includes the material things as well as immaterial. Money can play a role in getting what you want, but merely earning money should not be the goal. Chase the life’s experiences and not money!